The Update

Hello everyone,

I’ve been putting this off for a very long time. Mostly because I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to say. So I’ll start it off with another thank you. Thank you all so much for supporting me and believing in me enough to help me recover from blindness. A month ago I was told my corneas are stable, so I’m cured. That’s some so big, so completely enormous emotionally to me that I can’t express it. I was going to go blind, my life was over and it’s hard to express that without getting emotional. I had lost everything, all of my autonomy, all of my dreams. I would sit at my computer squinting barely making it by day after day for years, just trying to get past it. There was apoint in 2022 where I felt like giving up. I haven’t written a blog post for 2 years. I’ve been keeping up with Twitter and Discord though, a lot of people reading this are already aware how much my life has changed in the last 12 months but for those of you that aren’t, I just want to say thank you for even caring enough to read. Your support has reinforced my belief that people as a whole generally do want to help each other and sometimes we all just get caught up or in our own or each other’s way. This isn’t a techinical blog post so it’s a little out of the ordinary for this blog. I will start posting most technical blogs again soon.

In the last year I have had my vision restored. My vision isn’t perfect but it’s close. I went back to work and not only that I’m thriving at work. I started skating again, I started working out again. I’ve started chasing dreams again. In all honesty I had lost all my ambition and dreams, I thought I would just slowly go blind alone and my life was genuinely over because of how advanced my Keratoconus had gotten and the financial burden of fixing it. I was encouraged by members of the InfoSec, Free Software and Gaming communities I’m in to start a GoFundMe. My family and friends contributed a lot but there were people I barely know, even people I have had unpleasant interactions with that contributed a lot to those funds. I realistically would not be here today without that help. I wouldn’t be chasing my dreams again without that encouragement not to give up. In two weeks I’m heading on my first real vacation in a long time to continue to chase dreams. Dreams I felt I’d abandoned or had abandoned me.

In the Past Year I have:

  • Had my Vision Restored
  • Started Skating again
  • Opened my own Sandbox for creative people to collaborate in Second Life
  • Started to Draw Again
  • Started Hacking again
  • Started programming again
  • Been cleared for driving again
  • Started trying to learn to create music again
  • Returned to work
  • Returning to work enabled me to help friends and family
  • Met so many incredible and supportive people

Four years ago I lost my best friend, it was the most devastating loss I ever experienced. It follows me every day. It motivates me to be the person my friend thought I was. Sometimes I’m a shithead sure, but I really am striving to be the best person I can possibly be. After I had my first crosslinking procedure I sent out a thank you video, and I meant it when I said I wouldn’t squander this opportunity. I just want to say, Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to chase my dreams.

I’ll leave you with a musing I wrote a few months ago when I fell down real bad.

Life is a skateboard ride down a steep hill. Sometimes it’s wobbly and terrifying. Sometimes you fall off and it hurts bad, and you have to take time to recover, but if you get back on and things are going smooth you feel absolutely weightless and free.

I’ve had a few worse falls since then, and plenty more to come, real or metaphorical.

Thank you, and I’ll see you out there…

  • Hadet
Written on February 17, 2024